almost midnight. i wonder if this is like a fairytale gone wrong. but then again, my life is never a fairytale, more like a recurring nightmare or a horrid movie. almost midnight. i would think that cinderella wasn't paying attention to the time when she was at the ball with the prince. oh come on, why would she? she was at the ball with the prince. her prince. well, all's well that ends well, in her case that is. as i said, my lifestory isn't as complex and coordinated as a fairytale. there are no balls, fairies or fairy godmothers, evil stepmothers and sisters, typically handsome princes in a one horse open sleigh and all that jazz. i am not bashing fairytales or any of those copyrighted materials.
i'm actually way off base. i just had an epiphany. a cruel epiphany. yes, epiphanies can be cruel. my epiphany is simple. it's so simple it shouldn't be an epiphany, really. i'm just so darn good at pushing people away. leaving them in the dust when the clock strikes twelve. must be something cinderella and i have in common. but hold your horses, when i say leaving people behind, i mean exactly that. i'm not talking about princes, handsome or not. although in this case, my epiphany is related to a guy. oh he's a prince alright. just not mine. he's someone elses's prince, maybe that's why i left him. but i realize that i shouldn't have left him completely, just distanced a little bit. he was my friend, is actually...but i'm just not sure. i'm such an idiot. we don't leave friends behind. because there really is no clock that's going to signal when time's up and everything should go back to being ordinary and full of mice. i'm an idiot for having huge amounts of pride that i don't see my friends as friends and thinking to myself that i'm better off alone. stupid kat. i push people away but then yank them back to my side when it's convenient. i really am an idiot for thinking that this is a fairytale and i'm part of it. for thinking that it's okay to follow cinderella's example and ditching a friend. too late the never. this is me wishing that this shouldn't have happened, but now it's too late. because right now, i'm missing a friend and i don't have the other shoe or any of his shoes for that matter. but since i'm the one who ditched him i should be the one looking for him. we don't walk away from a friend, but if we do we turn around go back. maybe that way, we'll meet each other half way. shoeless or not.
