P word for Stick Figures.

My lovely class schedule for Spring semester 2009. I'm neurotic when it comes to making diagrams and such. So as you can see, this schedule pleases me. And it gives me other P words in mind, like pressure, panic, paranoia, and possible plentiful pounds of painkillers. But I'll take it one day at at time, until I reach the peroration (another P word for conclusion). So wish me the best. Kat, fight-O!!

the fasten seatbelt sign is on

10 and 9. Those are the number of times we've moved houses and the times I've moved schools, respectively. The number of times I've been on airplanes I've lost count, as well as the number of times I've had to introduce myself to a new crowd. My life has been full of introductions. A new introduction presented itself when Princess called and said she was leaving for Canada.

"You're leaving me?" were the first words I blurted out. I didn't really know what to say. When I was going to the US, I was totally depressed. I wasn't excited about new life, starting over, yadda yadda. No. What I wanted was to stay. What I was wanted was to keep my life the way it was and be happy. What I wanted was to never move again, end of story. Except it was never the end of any story and I had to start over again in a foreign place. And now that Princess is moving, I feel for her. I feel sad that she's not going to be able to see her friends when she wants to as she normally does. I feel sad that she's not going to be able to just book a flight and relax in Boracay. I feel sad that she's going to miss out on our niece's life. I feel sad that she won't be able to just take a jeep to the mall and window shop all she likes. And most of all I feel sad that nothing is going to be the same anymore.

Jokes that made you laugh before would make you cry on the spot. Clothes that were comfortable before would make you feel alien and naked. Foods that used to keep you company would make you feel homesick and alone. Nothing is familiar when you leave familiarity with your friends and toys. I wish I could say that it's going to be better, that sooner or later you'll be fine and happy again. It does in some ways. But there's a void that you avoid because that's where everything you were and had is.

Moving is a trying experience. It has an emotional roller coaster mandatory for everyone. But moving is moving forward. Where your past and future become your present. Where every thing is new and exciting. I'm blessed that with every move my family is still there, a room away, a phone call away, an email away, a video chat away, a prayer away. My bestfriend once said that even though we never see each other we are still under the same blue sky. As cliched as that sounds, I find comfort in the fact that we are connected by God's love, under the same blue sky.

Princess, I know you're going to okay. Just think of the place you're going to as a bigger Cebu. You're going to be just fine.

the f word

I don't really like cursing or swearing. I usually make up my own phrase or sentence to express my frustration. And I do have lots of frustrations. Especially when I drive. Yeah. Just, yeah.

So it goes like this, five minutes into driving on the 101 freeway bound home, this dark blue two door car cuts in front of me, nearly missing a van from his lane. I ignore the car since Arizona drivers tend to be insane anyway. And it's not like honking will change anything. But then a couple of feet away, he (yes, he) decides to stick out his arm out the window and raise his middle finger. Yes, that universal F sign that was spontaneously invented to replace verbal use of the word. Surprise, surprise, it caught on. He waves his smug sign for a couple of seconds before putting his arm back inside. So who was the sign aimed for? Me? Maybe. For some other driver? Probably. For all of us? Highly likely.

I raise my eyebrow at that and stop myself from thinking of ill of him. Too late though, a sick smile has already spread on my lips as I think avidly of how morbidly ironic it would be if he suddenly gets blindsided out of nowhere. Or he suddenly rear ends the car he was now behind. Ah, the possibilities. I only sigh though as I watch him exit off the freeway and go his merry way.

I wasn't really mad at the guy. For the life of me I can't think of why he would do that and if it was indeed aimed at me. Only God and him know. But still, isn't he concerned that if he did that to someone else the person would probably chase after his car and shoot him? I mean, Arizona is one of the states that have a lot of road rage incidents. And I would not want to encourage anyone with anger management issues to blow my brains out. I have enough of seeing people reported on the news who got shot after angering a fellow driver.

I was thinking that God would deal with that idiotic asinine of an ass, but then as I exited Thomas Road, I felt foolish enough to just ask God to forgive me and that addled brain half-bake. The next time I meet another dullard dumdum on the road, I will stay clear of their path lest I catch their dumbass and foolhardy manner. After all, some are born stupid, some achieve stupidity, and some have stupidity thrust upon them. But stupidity is not passed on by ancestors but it is their own hard-worn accomplishment. Kudos to you, driver of the dark blue two door car. May you always have bliss. Since ignorance of stupidity is bliss.

the grass is greener

I am currently still in Edmonton, Alberta. It's almost three weeks now that I've been here to attend my cousin's wedding and to visit the Queen. Well, my cousins in fact, but this side of the family is like royalty after all. Not that my mother's side of the family isn't descended from Dons and Doῆas. But my father's side is too noble and prideful to be considered anything less than royalty. I guess I just come from a family of extremes. And coming here to Edmonton gave me a chance to experience another side of my family from a different angle, perspective. Same difference.

I know that when one travels to a place for the first time, Traveler must mention, describe, and excite people of what the place looks like, of the different people encountered, of the meals one had eaten or had not eaten but wished they did, and of the activities one had done and wish to repeat, or not. As for myself, all I can say is I like Edmonton. If you have money and time, come here and enjoy. Done. I have done my touristly duty and wish to go on to my true purpose of sharing more stuff about my royalty family that may or may not mean anything to you. Shush, I just need to write. So, on to my family.

Specifically, I am writing about my dad's side of the family. The side that lives here in Edmonton. As I wrote earlier, I come from a family of extremes. And this extreme extends to the fact that my dad is my uncle's brother. Some of you are going, "Duh." What I mean is the fact that they are related translates to the fact that they not only share or have the same temperemental, stubborn disposition and discipline, but they also share the noble qualities consisting of honesty, generosity, caring, loving, and quirky sense of humor. These characters are trademarked in each sibling coming from my dad's side of the family. And my cousins and I had the great time of discovering these similarities in our parents. Stories upon stories brought out the common bond that is our parents, and we drew closer together as we cast our collection of memories and shared them as one. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy, and giddy, I admit. But I rejoice in being reunited with cousins and titos and titas that I have been too young to remember or been to apart from.

It is true that I have been too apart from the royalty. E-mails and rare phone calls are the only correspondence that have kept us from completely being out of each other's lives. We all have been moving from one area to another, one town or country away. Moving is normal for us; it is like a complicated dance, to and fro, to and fro. Packing and putting away is part of the lifestyle, yet in all the complications we have always belonged where ever we were.

I came to Edmonton just expecting cooler weather and living in my Tito Joy and Tita Lulu's house. Yes, both are what I expected. However, living with them for two weeks and a half has shown me more than I was expecting. I saw that the grass is greener here. Their family see each other almost daily, they just live minutes aways from each other, they eat out all the time, and they come and go as they please. They're not a perfect family by any means, no one has that. But perfect is not what I have been wanting since I was a child. What I wanted was a family like theirs, a family living close to each other. As I wrote, I come from a family of extremes. And as their family live minutes away from each other, mine live continents apart from each other. Well, before it was just islands apart. Funny.

I do find it funny. Funny in the ironic kind of way. Although, I also find it funny that despite the fact that I feel that I should be jealous, I am not. Of course, it makes me a bit sad to see how it could have been with my family. I can see driving to visit Sister's place and spending time with my brother in law and my niece. Or going to Princess' apartment and just kill time with her. Or goof around with my brother later while my dad and mom call and ask what time I'll go home for dinner. It makes me sad because I know that although the grass is greener this side of the family, I just sigh and move on because I also know that this isn't my grass. My grass doesn't exist since what I have is desert sand and all that grow in it are tough weeds that look pretty and flowers that struggle to survive the day's heat.

My visit in Edmonton humbled me. I can't have everything in life and what I have is enough. What's more important than having my family close by is having a close family intact. I wouldn't trade my royalty family for any green grass, beanstalk, or ducks that lay golden eggs in the world.

Spring.

I'm just pausing in writing a lab report on membrane transport. I feel like my head will explode with the monotony of repetitive words like solution, diffusion, reagents, and unsupported hypothesis.

My arm hurts less now, not that it was hurting a lot to start with (I accidentally burned myself). But I think the burns are slowly healing, I hope so anyway. I didn't even feel pain when I burned myself... tsk tsk tsk. Ouch. Oh well. Maybe my brain was just too busy absorbing three chapters before our second Bio exam.

Speaking of Bio exams, I hope I get a higher score this time. Our professor is so hopelessly disorganized but extremely demanding. My classmates say that he's in his own universe. Funny, I think so too. He is so weird. But I appreciate his weirdness these days unlike before. But I hope that he'll be more organized. Seriously, our first lab reports we gave him early September was just returned this week, mid October. Yeah, I think that's a big time span...but who knows maybe he really is extremely busy.

Argh. I scratched my car. Idiot. Who doesn't notice a huge pole in the middle of a parking lot? Seriously. I got the car scratched when I was parking. Who does that?! Only me, I tell you. Good thing Mama didn't get mad at me. Papa reminded me that I shouldn't "move the car when unsure." Sigh, at least it wasn't worse. Thank God.

It's almost Mama's birthday. A week away from now. I still don't have a gift for her though. I don't know what to get her. Hmm...

Oh my gosh. I have issues. I've been eating chocolate since September that it's not funny anymore. Chocolate = comfort food. Maybe. But comfort food is not equal to healthy. My brain says "but it has antioxidants and stuff," yeah, I'm also going to be a diabetic if I keep at it. So I must resist!!

I have new acquaintances from class. Sounds fun. They're mostly girls. Tiana and Leean are my age. They sit next to me in lecture.  Rebecca, whom I call Debbie/Becky, is my age also, maybe. She's usually my lab partner along with Tina who is slightly older, like 10 years older and married. Tina and Tiana are my study buddies. They try to study and I entertain them. Anyway, guys from my class are okay-okay. Muhammad is usually the guy who asks how I did in the test or something. Howard, the blond behind me in lecture, always or most usually asks the prof a question he can't answer. I don't know who I pity more, Howard or our disorganized prof.

Anyway, maybe this 27th Mama and I are going to the lake with her previous work pals. Dee invited us to her boat. Wow, I'll be acquainted with a large body of water. Huzzah! I miss the beach. It's almost nearing November...Mama is having her trip. Shucks, sucks to be alone but good thing I'm used to it, ne?

So this ends my blog update of my boxed life. And I'm off to make more icedtea and go back to writing that elusive lab report.

Yosh :)

I got my instruction permit this morning so I can finally drive again, with adult supervision though. I'm back to square one but that's fine with me since I'm not exactly a pro at driving yet. :) I am a scary driver. *cue maniacal laughter* Tsh. I'll improve, have faith. *hahaha*

Seriously, getting a license back in the Philippines was way easier than getting one here. There are a lot scary drivers back in the Philippines but it's scarier to drive here since the police actually catch bad drivers. :) In the Philippines, you either don't get caught or get caught because of a corrupt cop. Hey, I'm not saying all cops are bad but they do exist. No offense.

I'll just have to do my best and practice driving again so I can drive myself to school. Next thing I have to do is look for a job, part-time or something like that. I need to earn money for gas and allowance and other needed necessities. Redundant but true. LOL. Growing up. I'm growing up. *hums excitedly*